Friday, April 24, 2009

It needs to be said

Wow. I had a really strong reaction to this post over at Heather Eats Almond Butter. My post here comes partially from a comment I left with a little more detail now that I've had time to process things in my brain.

I'll start by stating the obvious: I'm injured (just temporarily- I can still bike, spin and elliptical). But here's the not so obvious: after 5-years of running, part of me wants to try something different and not be an endurance junkie. The problem is I feel like I'm actually caught in a triple loop.

For one, I'm stuck in the eat to run/ run to eat thing, and it's not a fun way to live your life. You run so you're hungry so you eat so you have to run MORE because you're afraid you're going to gain weight. Plus you have to lift weights, do yoga, and walk, and XT just to make sure you're burning enough calories. And it's hard because I've gotten used to being able to eat a lot of crap and not gain weight. Who doesn't love the post-long-run ice cream binge?

Second- and maybe this is the most important point- I had a really great running year last year. I How can I possibly quit now when I think I can improve this year again? And maybe qualify for Boston this year or next year? I'm already signed up for a marathon training program that starts in the summer. And we bought a treadmill. And a bike. Plus, when running is good, I really love it. I love getting up early and being outside. And the feeling of accomplishment when you run a great race. It's just when it's bad (like now) it's really bad.

Last, I'm a runner. This blog is called EarlyRunner for a reason. There are a fair number of people I can count on to ALWAYS ask about my long run on Saturdays. What if I don't want to do one? How can I admit that to them without sounding like a quitter and a failure? And my friends are all runners or triathletes and all our social time involves working out together.

So I guess that's what it comes down to- wanting to change but not wanting to be a quitter. And not wanting to give up on goals I've had a long time (like BQing). I'm flirting with the idea of taking the next two weeks off of not just running, but hard-core endurance stuff as well. That means walking/biking to work, yoga, gardening, and strength training are all okay. Running, biking for a long time, and spinning are not okay. Then at the end of the two weeks I can decide if I miss running more than I can possible describe or if I feel relief kicking the cardio beast. It won't be so long that I totally lose fitness (I doubt I'd be able to run much at the conference in two weeks anyway) but enough time to see if a change has taken place.

I honestly just do not know right now.